FAQ on THE INDIAN HONKER

 Who is the Indian Honker this article refers to?

The Indian Honker in this article, is that person who insanely thinks that, by persistently pressing the horn on the steering wheel of your vehicle and by effect producing that most annoying blaring sound, the vehicle in front of your vehicle is gonna move even much more faster than it is supposed to be, unconditionally on an Indian road.

Can you please detail it? How does the Indian Horn really sound?

It Sounds something like this –“&^%*&(^&%(&%$&^%$(&!@$!^@(&)*)^&#Q%”

According to different situation applicable, it can be classified as:

·         A short beep – An advice, saying that you are changing your lane to mine. Please don’t.

·         A longer one – A threat or a command, saying you are not following any traffic rules.(especially to say –“ you are honking too much”)

·         Even a longer one – An Abuse, conventionally followed by a sound and a gesture (usually with right hand or middle finger) even followed by verbal exchange of words, preferably in local mother tongue.

·         Still longer and harsh one with an extreme sense of shrillness in it – “Fuck you ass hole. You are driving much faster/slower than me and I am almost dead due to that”, most probably from a private bus driver.

Note: Some other patterns cannot be written here, either due to the limited vocabulary of the author or due to the extent of imagination an Indian honker puts in each of his Honking.

So to ask it again, does the vehicle move even faster, than it is supposed to, if the Indian Honker keeps honking from the back?

No. It actually slows down the vehicle in front of the Indian honker due to the following reasons:

1. The Indian honker (no.2) in front of your vehicle gets seriously irritated by your Honk. The egoistic Indian driver instantly starts thinking –“How dare he honk from behind in such a traffic?”. He thinks that the Indian honker is arrogant and would not let him overtake which eventually slows down the already slow traffic.
2. Most of the truck drivers doesn’t really mean “SOUND HORN O.K”, even though they have got it written on the back of the truck. What they really mean, I assume, is to keep good sound for the horn. But for matter of fact, the “SOUND” in above writing is supposed to be a verb (whatever that “OK” means!).
3. Mr. Indian honker, The Indian “Learner” driver is nervously driving in front of your vehicle. So don’t give him a heart attack by your blaring honk. To make the situation worse, if Mr.learner’s car engine by chance gets stopped in the middle of heavy traffic, The Indian honker kills him with that bloody Indian honk. This includes every Tom, Dick and Harry who even passes through the other lane
4. A traffic signal is not controlled by your horn. It does not become green in a faster rate if you honk.
5. A road bump (or pot-hole) will not move its stationary position hearing your honk.

So, you really mean that Indian honking is NOT useful at all?

Fuck you man! You have all the characteristics of a bloody Indian Honker. You are – Arrogant, You are stupid, You are Persistent, and above all you are such a pain in the ass! You don’t have to be a genius to press hold that horn on your steering wheel constantly. But you need to be a good driver and gentleman to avoid those honking, especially in the city limits.

OK. I admit. Then why can’t we have strict Law against this kind of Honking, especially within the city limits?

Are you kidding? We already have umpteen number of laws against Honking and Sound pollution as such. The only problem is in following the laws, morally as a social obligation. In other countries, they have strict law enforcement measures to prevent the “Indian Honking”. Let us do it. Please. For a better India. For a better Earth! STOP INDIAN HONKING!